Who Truly Fumbled Here? - A Critique of the "Watch my Ex Fumble" Trend

Again, I ask: Does anyone remember this 2023 trend at all?

Mar 28, 2025

TikTok “Watch my Ex Fumble” Trend Caption

Disclaimer: I wrote this in 2023.

If you’ve been on TikTok for the past few years, you probably know that there will always be a Valentine’s Day related trend. Usually, these trends would be cute (or gross, depending on your view of romance) and have a comments section that goes along the lines of “AWH LAST LONG!” or “SLEEPING ON THE HIGHWAY TONIGHT BRB”. However, in the year of our Lord 2023, a somewhat different trend has emerged from the millions of coupletoks we see every year.

Here’s how the trend usually goes (to a specific part from this song called ‘Rhythm Thief but Cursed’ by Headass’):

Caption: In honour of Valentine’s Day, let me show you how bad my ex fumbled
Transition 1: Photo of poster
Transition 2: Photo of ex

I would insert an example here, but I kind of don’t want to because it’s borderline doxxing. If you really want an example of what I’m talking about, just search ‘my ex fumbling’ on TikTok.

I initially didn’t think too much about the trend and actually thought that it was satire and that the ex was the poster’s current significant other. As it turns out, most of these videos aren’t jokes. Personally, I felt that the trend was in very poor taste because it’s lowkey doxxing since these posters are using real photos of their ex. Furthermore, their ex’s are not portrayed in a positive light. How it usually goes is that the posters of such videos would use a really beautiful photo of themselves before transitioning to an unglam photo of their ex.

I feel that this trend is in line with the “girlboss, gatekeep, gaslight” mantra which is why it’s gotten so popular. However, I find it pretty mean-spirited. I’m not here to invalidate the negative experiences that these people have had with their exes, but posting a photo of an ex without their consent doesn’t seem morally right either. This trend kind of makes me feel as if I’m invading the privacy of some random person I don’t know about halfway across the world.

I believe that y’all dated for a reason and broke up for a reason. It’s understandable to be upset about your breakup but this isn’t empowering at all, it just comes off as sore and salty. Things probably happened to make the relationship go sour and I get it but that doesn’t give people the right to shame their exes so publicly by literally using their face. Perhaps I wouldn’t feel so iffy by this trend if people were just using initials or codenames, but using their real face feels wrong.

It doesn’t help that the thing that most of these people are shaming is their ex’s looks. I’m very sure that’s something nobody can change without plastic surgery or something so it feels like a really low blow. It sucks that your ex was an ass, but that doesn’t give you the right to stoop to their level just to make yourself feel better.

Let me know what are your thoughts on this trend in the comments. I’m not too sure if I’m just being a prude since I clearly have no idea what these strangers experienced during their relationship, but I think there are better ways of ranting about your ex instead of shaming them for their looks with an actual picture of them.

Thanks for reading!

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About the Author

Rachel resides in Singapore and is currently in her third year of university. She’s majoring in Literature and minoring in Creative Writing. When she’s not worrying about her assignments, she likes to read and do photography.